Do promise us that “This Is It” will only be released for a limited two week run.
Don’t hesitate to extend the run by another two weeks when ticket sales are a bit sluggish.
Do oppose Net Neutrality.
Don’t actually use or be at all familiar with the Internet.
Do get publicity by giving the eulogy for your famous, recently-departed friend.
Don’t publicize that the last time you actually spoke to him was in 1991.
Do we really even have to say anything about this one?
Don’t think so.
Do get away with murder.
Don’t get overzealous and also try to get away with armed robbery.
Do write a catchy pop anthem about your heated divorce from your husband.
Don’t actually divorce your husband.
Do flee the country to avoid capture.
Don’t worry, your “plight” will inexplicably garner Hollywood’s sympathy.
Do film a sex tape.
Don’t forget to “leak” it days before your new reality show premieres.
Do share your housekeeping secrets.
Don’t share your bookkeeping secrets.
